That mother I judge
There is a mother I know and I can’t help but judge her.
I judge her because she had an epidural during labour and a forceps delivery. I judge her because she would have liked to have had an epidural for her second birth too.
She didn’t stick with breastfeeding for a year.
She regularly feeds her own children food which she hasn’t lovingly prepared for them herself. She lets them eat crisps and ice cream and bribes them with chocolate. She also sometimes eats the chocolate that others bought for her kids. She sometimes hides away to do this so she doesn’t have to share the chocolate.
That mother sticks her children in front of CBeebies, or a Disney film or even the kids’ own tablets – just to give herself a moment of peace.
Her house is a mess. Her car is a mess. The washing basket is overflowing. She never irons any clothes. Ever.
I judge her because sometimes she shouts at her children. Sometimes they drive her crazy. She lets them run around screaming in public, getting themselves muddy and wet as they stomp around in puddles in inappropriate clothes and shoes. They have tantrums and cry in the supermarket. Yet again she bribes them with “treats”.
The mother I judge works, leaving her children to be cared for by a nursery. She likes to work. She enjoys the break it gives her from her children.
She loves the moment when her children have gone to sleep and peace and quiet descends on her house.
But that mother that I judge loves her children and no matter what you think about her, she judges herself more harshly than anyone else.
I know this mother so so well. Thank you so much for writing it. I loved the quiet tonight xx
Thanks lovely x x x
I’m a bit dim so I was super stressed when I started reading this- until the penny dropped! I am ‘that’ mother and I’m just about ok with it 🙂
Sorry to have worried you! Glad you are another one of “us” mums and also OK with it 🙂
Hi Karen,
Wow you sound like me! I NEVER iron either however the other week Seb’s cub leader told him his neckerchief needed ironing….I thought “he’ll be bleedin lucky” so I had to hunt for the damn thing and iron it! Now I’ve got to keep it looking un-creased so I don’t have to do it again haha. I also hide Seb’s chocolate at Easter because in my opinion he gets WAY too much hehe. Fab post, I love it because it’s bloody honest.
PS Got my Britmums ticket…yay! xx
Thank you! And I am so pleased that you have a ticket for Britmums! Cannot wait to meet you 🙂
so clever and so very true! I loved.it. I could add a few for myself too. #sundaysstars
Thank you – glad you liked it and would love to hear the ones that you would add.
A brilliant post Karen. I wish mum’s would stop judging each other and start supporting each other. Because you are right we are our own worst critics. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
Precisely why I wrote it. We should all remember that as mums we just want the best for our children, regardless of how we go about our own style of parenting.
So very true and I think a lot of us can relate to this – we all have a tendency to judge ourselves harshly. None of us are perfect though and as long as our children are (mostly) happy and loved, fed, clothed and watered, we are doing just fine.
Exactly! We should all remember that whatever decisions that have been made, they have probably been agonised over and we should be more supportive of each other.
Fab post Karen, I know these feelings well x
Thank you Katy!
Brilliant post love! Totally agree with you, I also love the peace that descends on the house when the kids are sleeping! xxx
Thanks Katie! There is nothing like that peace after a tough few hours…..
How do you describe me so well?! Have we met?
Great post.
Hahaha! Just goes to show that regardless of how we parents, we are all very similar!
Lovely post Karen. We do what we can to get through the day sometimes, don’t we? Some days I am supermama – others, not so much. I’m often SO hard on myself – definitely my own worst critic.
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
Glad you enjoyed it! I would be screwed if it weren’t for chocolate bribes (for the girls and for me own sanity!)
fab post karen we are all our own harshest critics karen its easy to focus on what we don’t feel were doing well enough and not on the bits were doing a great job at – everytime them kids smile you should know the awesome job you are doing. p.s i always eat the kids chocolate and my iron has been out about 3 times in the last 6 months only for truly unavoidable situations! thanks for linking up to #sundaystars
Ah I can so relate to this mother Karen, its hard juggling life and work isn’t it, never getting a minute becomes so hard xx
Thanks Sarah. Yep, it’s bloody tough and whatever you do, you will always manage to find something to feel guilty about.