My Apologies to the Galaxy
Dear fellow inhabitants of the Milky Way, I appear to need to apologise to you. Why? Because a week or so ago, according to Freyja, I “made the whole galaxy sad”. So sorry, please accept my sincerest apologies. I had no intention of upsetting so many beings, and didn’t for one second believe that in not allowing Freyja any chocolate just before she went to bed, that it would have such a drastic affect.
As desperately sorry as I am, I am also fairly impressed with my abilities. I upset THE WHOLE GALAXY! Who else has done that? I mean, that surely ranks alongside the achievements of the likes of Darth Vader, and even then I am sure there would have been a few Storm Troopers who wouldn’t have felt that they had been upset by him, and The Emperor, up until the point when Darth Vader chucked him down that shaft.
I am a little disappointed that my powers seem to have waned, as a few days later I only managed to make “the whole world sad”. Still, I should apologise to Planet Earth, and again, I didn’t realise that my parenting would have such a huge impact. I can’t even remember what caused it on this occasion, but it was probably something along the lines of putting Freyja on the naughty step after hitting her sister, telling her to take more care with her glasses or possibly giving her the wrong coloured cup to drink from. Either way, I’m sorry Earthlings. If you did feel inexplicably sad a few days ago – it was me, apparently.
Alongside my awesome powers of making so many people miserable, I can’t help but boast that I am the current holder of the title “Worst Mummy in the World – and I don’t even love you any more!” which was bestowed upon me amidst screaming, tears and slamming of doors. My other awards include being “a silly old lady who is so old you’re a Nana” and having the ability to “spoil EVERYTHING!”
Unfortunately, my special abilities never seem to hold out for that long, and my over-tired girl is quick take back my decorations, informing me that she was “telling a lie” and is sorry, and deciding that I am actually the “Best Mummy in the World”. However, just as I am about to relinquish my “Worst Mummy in the World” title, there comes the sound of a two-year old tantrum, and whilst she may not actually be shouting those words at me yet, I get the impression that the sentiment is well and truly there. I think I may be upsetting the galaxy for a little while yet to come. Sorry!