I have found that since becoming a mum to two children it is very easy to forget that I am not “just a mummy”. I am a wife. And I am me.
I wasn’t naive enough to think that having children wouldn’t affect my social life, my hobbies and my relationship. When we had Freyja I would say that it definitely strengthened our marriage. We were a team, often referring to ourselves as this when we took turns looking after Freyja. Having a second child means you don’t really have this luxury of “turn taking” any more. This is definitely the case with young children anyway. Having a second child means you have so much less quality time as a couple, so much so that we count being sat next to each other on the sofa watching TV as “quality time as a couple”. I can understand why seemingly “strong” couples have split up after having multiple children.
We were very lucky this weekend to take advantage of my parents in order to have some time together as a couple. We went up to stay with them and they babysat the girls for us whilst we went out for a meal. Dad even reprised his role of my personal taxi by giving us a lift and picking us up afterwards, which meant we could have a drink – Hoorah!!
Sangria served in a glass the size of a fishbowl. But enough fruit to count towards my “five a day”
We went to Casa Mia. There isn’t a great deal of places to have a nice meal with your husband in West Bromwich, so it wasn’t really surprising to bump into people I hadn’t seen in over 10 years at the table next to us. Whenever I have been here in the past the food has been lovely and this evening was no exception. It can be a bit slow though, which I’d actually quite nice as I don’t like to feel rushed by anywhere I go to eat. However, my the time the main course arrived we had already polished off a bottle of wine between us. We thought it might sound a bit bad if we got through a bottle of wine each that evening so took the only sensible decision which was to have a 1 litre jug of sangria instead. We had a lovely couple of hours chatting, laughing and enjoy each other as a couple and not as mummy and daddy for a change. The icing on top though was both girls slept through until past 7am which is unheard of! Hoping we are not tempting fate by trying to have another evening out in a few weeks time…..
Me and the hubby before we had kids. On a lovey holiday and not looking knackered, haggard and covered in snot.
Finding a bit of “me time” is even harder. I get the chance of an occasional 20 minutes read sometimes before bed, and I consider being able to use the toilet or have a shower without an audience precious alone time. Don’t get me wrong I am very happy with my life as it is, but how do mums manage to find time both as a couple and as themselves or is it just not possible?