The class bear – an unwelcome visitor?
Freyja’s class have a class bear. You know the kind I mean. It gets sent home to stay with you, alongside its diary which you have to fill in with all the “fun” activities that it has got up to. Every Friday she goes to school hoping that her name gets picked to bring home “Mr Buttons”, and at the end of the day, when I have picked her up, she has been a bit disappointed that it went home with another child. Last Friday was a different story. “Look what I’ve got!” she beamed at me – thrusting a large cardboard box at me. There was the inevitable doom that Brad Pitt must have felt like as he opened the box at the end of Se7en. I peered in. My gaze was met by that of a pyjama-clad class bear and two volumes of his diary. Mr Buttons was coming to stay.
I now had to think of a variety of activities to keep Mr Buttons entertained for the week. Flicking through the two diaries, I could see that Mr Buttons had had lots of exciting trips out. I would need to find at least two pages worth of activities, accompanied by photographic evidence, of him doing something more interesting that being left on Freyja’s bedroom floor for the week. It transpired that this was the least of my worries. This is the story of Mr Buttons’ stay – the one I cannot (for reasons that will soon become clear) document in his diary….
Looking back, alarm bells really should have started ringing when I found him forging a WOW voucher. I caught him in the act, and as he knew exactly what he was doing, I can only assume that this isn’t the first time he has done it. I have no idea how long this deception has been happening, or how many House Points he has accrued through these lies.
I should probably have realised that he was probably lying when he told me that he was confused with how the Sky remote worked and that he didn’t mean to be flicking through the “adult channels”.
Mr Buttons was charming, and was really friendly with all of the other toys.
But it turns out that he was a bit too friendly with some of them….
He also enjoyed a drink.
Needless to say, I was not impressed to find that he had finished off the prosecco and started on my gin, along with various other alcoholic drinks.
I suppose the only comfort I could actually take from this was that he did really pay for all this heavy drinking.
And he was suffering the next morning….
I was in two minds as to whether I should share our story with Mr Buttons on this blog – I feel I should protect Freyja from the Mr Buttons I have come to know, but I want to warn other parents. If you have the class bear come to stay with you – beware! It might not be as well behaved as it appears to be in its diary….